Kahani Paanch Konsultants ki:-( The Story of 5 Konsultants)

This post is dedicated to all the budding managers (read:- recently graduated MBA's)who after passing out from a B-School feel, they have conquered the world.

Disclaimer:- The story is purely a figment of my imagination and bears no resemblance to anyone or anything living or dead. Any resemblance still if exists, if any could be purely intentional for which the author bears no responsibility and is not accountable.

The Venue:- A renowned B-School in Pune

The Konsultants:-

Rang Joyal- A Delhi born and brought up, IT engineer who is adept at MS-Excel, allied softwares and Market Research. Rang loves sleeping and strongly believes that he is at his efficient best while sleeping.

Dubbu Choomaswamy :- Dont go by the name but the man is quite adept at judging market pulse and comes from a previous experience of working with an Oil FCMG company. Forget the name, "handsome" girls just fall for Dubbu.

Minesh Ram:-A happy go lucky and stylish guy, born to sell and gifted with good marketing creativity. Failure to join a konsulting company let him to join a big Sutta( aka Cigarettes) company.

Swami Nair:- A calm and hardworking engineer turned MBA, with good market research and presentation skills and he eats, sleeps and drinks marketing. His only dream after getting into an MBA course has been to get into an FMCG company, which he duly achieved by joining Dentos Inc.

Arihom Adoda:- A smart and suave guy, who took up management soon after his engineering but can challenge the best in the business. He is quite spirited when it comes to work and was set to join a Spirits Company.

The five of them had a great common freind named ExcelRaja, named after MS Excel since the first thing he asked for after he started speaking was for MS Excel and it was also the first word he spoke. ExcelRaja was a constant source of discouragement for all of them, since he finished all his work whenever the five gathered to work and lured them into all sort of temptations. Excelraja had himself got into a konsulting firm unlike the five and was on his way to konsultancy fame. ExcelRaja was a connoisseur of Somarasa drinks and Suttas and he savoured them all the time.

The five had some months before they joined their respective jobs and were flying high on their recent success at a B-School competition organised by the largest FMCG company in the country-Beaver Brothers.

Arihom suggested that they use the victory at Beaver Brothers in a good way and do a konsulting job to gain experience in the field. The other four nodded . Swami too was supportive of Arihom's idea and he made sure Minesh, Dubbu and Rang are party to it.

Soon one day Swami got a call from Aakal Newspapers, the largest daily in India to come and make a presentation on their Business Future. Swami was so excited that he readily agreed on the phone for it. He told the others about it and they too looked keen. Arihom suggested that they present and show the Beaver case first and woo the client on their expertise and then make use of the famous GE and Mckinsey templates to predict the future.

Hence began the work, a day was fixed for the presentation. The five of them worked. Rang made sure that every piece of information from the net is made use of while Dubbu at the same time dated many a girl friends to ensure his mind functioned better.

The D day arrived. The five were ready and they reached Aakal headquarters to meet Mr.Power, the MD of the company. Mr. Power was an MBA from the Tantan Business School in UK and was a smart and suave business man with excellent business acumen, but all this was not known to our poor Konsutlants. Dubbu was nervous and had smoked 3 Suttas in the meanwhile and he was one who had vowed that he would never smoke.

Mr.Power welcomed them and made them comfortable in his plush office. Arihom briefed him about their victory and started the presentation. He went on and on and on.......then came Swami..he too went on and on and on....Mr.Power looked bored.....Rang, Minesh and Dubbu pithced in between.....That was it....Mr.Power....tore them apart left, right and centre from there on..he went on and on and on..and told them about his achievements and about his stint at Tantan Business School and his hand at entrepreneurship. He told them that the Mckinseys had bombarded him with enough templates and he had forgotten the 4P's of marketing. He termed the presentation rubbish and told them that B-School students should think "out of the Box" or rather "out of templates".

The ordeal went on for long, Rang had already fallen asleep and was thinking of better things, while Dubbu was dreaming about his date on the weekend. Minesh was bored to death and was cursing Swami and Arihom for taking up the assignment, while Arihom and Swami were trying to counter Mr.Power with facts. Little did Arihom and Swami realize that Mr.Power had no interest in giving them any project and was bragging about his Achievements.

The five came out of the office and wondered whether there really was an "Aakal" for knowledge at the office or whether they were too good for him!.....they came back a bit dejected though and told ExcelRaja about the mishap. Dubbu meanwhile again smoked a lot and Minesh too gave him company this time.

ExcelRaja told them not to worry and forget about their maiden Konsultancy Venture. The five too agreed and based on a suggestion from Excelraja went on a trip to Sonavala nearby their B-School. ExcelRaja also ensured that they take with them his favourite brand of Somarasa and Sutta.

Moral of the Story:- Young Konsultants need to understand their clients well and should not assume that "if aunty has a moustache then she is an uncle!"...oops...does that make sense?...